florescences | anders catchall

[ elysia has too much curiosity not to look around at new locations, but sometimes, necessities are necessities.

she is coming out of the convenience store with toiletries. she waves at anders with a tube of toothpaste. ]

Hiiii. This new here isn't so bad, is it?

[ anders is also back into his clothes, but they're much less cute. he'll watch her come out of the store, but he's been sort of ... pacing around the neighborhood. Not going in anywhere quite yet, like he's nervous. ]

I don't know what the point of all of it. Apart from your-- Fun that is.

[ she watches him pace for a bit. ]

What if there isn't a point? What if we're here just to.... be? Is that so bad?

[ perish the thought. ]

I don't know how to just be. At least-- not anymore. I don't care for feeling trapped, no matter how gilded the cage.

We are caged. There's no way around that that I can see right now.

[ elysia has no optimism to flip that view. ]

But you may be inviting misery on yourself. Although... I wonder if that's something you already know?

Not even in death can one truly be free, and I'm the one inviting the misery? It seems to me the misery is simply happening and I'm caught in it no matter how hard I try to escape the cycle.

Edited 2025-02-09 14:43 (UTC)

Oh, my, if you're forever stuck in a cycle, you must have suffered under such a weight. What cycle are you trying to escape?

[ because the way he talks, existence sounds like a prison. ]

I've only ever wanted to be free. I tried to leave the Circle and they hunted me down. I joined the Wardens, where mages are allowed to be outside the Circle, and they tried to bring me back. I left the Wardens because they wanted to control me. I went to Kirkwall, to try and help other mages, only to watch them become more and more oppressed by the City of Chains.

I died, and I did not even get the rest of the Void. I'm here. Still imprisoned.

[ elysia's expression softens. she can tell much has embittered him. ]

I am sorry life has tried to chain you in every way. I am beginning to see why justice holds importance to you. Why are mages discriminated against where you're from?

[ she is very sweet and understanding about this, and he knows he's being too angry, but he can't really help it. it's too easy to slip into the anger as always. ]

Why? Fear. The Chantry has long preached that magic is the root of all evil, that mages are unable to control themselves and will fall to blood magic and summoning demons at the slightest provocation, or that if we are allowed to govern ourselves, we will aim to install ourselves as rulers. I have no desire to rule over anyone, and there are many ordinary men who lust for power and gain it with armies.

[ sorry that he's already ranting about mages. this is very ic of me. but im still sorry. ]

[ anger often has an underlying cause even if it explodes all the place. she knows some very angry people. she doesn't mind. she likes learning about people, anger and all. ]

Hmm.... the upper crust really do fear what or who they can't control, a little too much. I've brushed against that a couple times, but I don't think it's anywhere near what you've had to suffer or endure.

I am sorry that the Chantry didn't want to try to understand or appreciate you or the other mages.

[ she will listen to any and all mage rants anders has. ]

[ SURELY SOME TIME IN YOUR 50k YEARS ELYSIA. but profiles aren't unlocked yet so he couldnt know that. ]

... It's very strange to get these sorts of responses. Usually it's something much more expletive-riddled. Or at best an eyeroll.

[ It's fine... it's fine... her 50k doesn't matter right now. She's curious of anders' much less than 50k. ]

It helps that I wasn't raised in a society like that. Mages aren't that common even if there are people with amazing abilities.

But I can't help but think what I think even if it's not what the majority does. Maybe you just needed to meet more people.

[ people not brainwashed by his world's chantry. ]

You do seem of an independent mind.

[ for example, her hair is pink. ]

As for meeting people, I do plenty of that. There's a lot of you here, and you're all insane.

[ it the extreme levels of pink that make her insane. he's got it.

she smiles. ]

Sometimes, you have to be a little insane to move forward or to be able to move anything forward. Are we better or worse than your Chantry?

[ he's had a Long Day and is now just. hiding out in the library. old habits. but he hasn't got a good book or anything, it seems like it's just ... trashy romance. in fact it's this and he seems pretty invested. ]

[ oh, what an ordeal of love and romance to go through.... to read more love and romance?

she is not so polite that she won't look over his shoulder. there's a playful gasp. ]

Oh, how romantic!

[ the book drops a little and he turns to look at her - obviously kinda surprised. jumpscare ... ]

It's-- fine. It's alright. I've read better, but at least this is new.

I didn't take you for the type to be into romance. How delightful.

[ she's going to sit down near him. ]

If you're enjoying it, that's what matters. Quality of writing matters as much as your feeling while reading it. So?

[ tell her how it makes you feel. ]

I don't know what type I'm supposed to be.

[ but okay, he'll talk about it. ]

I like books like this. Adventure and escape and such. There used to be a pretty lively trade for these in the Circle. I liked the ones about the Rivani pirates and such, high seas and all.

We can learn what it is together.

[ a bonding activity. ]

Oh, me too. Adventure books were what made me want to travel and explore the world. Pirates always seem so free, don't they?

You think so, until you meet one. They are certainly free about the definition of pants.

[ though isabela is a pretty free spirit. ]

You've traveled the world, then? I suppose you must have had the time.

Pants? Isn't that kind of... when they're out at sea?

[ she gets what he means, but also, help. ]

I tried to see all I could... but it's not like I could have seen everything.

[ elysia is here to cancel anders for the final time.

no, elysia is coming to check up on him. that was such an intense expulsion in more than one way. if there is anything to knock on to signal her approach, she knocks on it. ]

Hi, Anders.

[ she's smiling, but there's a crease between her brows that highlights her concern. ]

[ he'll be in the mansion in the bathroom for a while, cleaning his injuries up. he's not as bad off as all that, but it's not like. great. burns run aross his arms - both ice and fire, and a few specks on his face. and there's the various bruises from being bashed around. not to mention the deep, red strangulation marks. there are those. ]

Elysia.

[ his voice is pretty rough, but he seems ... okay. maybe numb mostly. ]

I'm fine.

[ she was hoping that someone would have helped bandage him up by the time she found him, but at least he's doing something about them. numb isn't so great in her eyes, but at least he's standing and doing something.

she comes closer. ]

Can I help? I'm not a medic.... but I could try. [ she keeps her hands at her side, just to affirm it will be his choice. ] I don't think our definitions of the word fine are the same.

[ he'll wait for a moment, but he's too numb and exhausted to really deny help at this point. nodding at some bandages, holding out a hand. ]

It's difficult to get the fingers.

[ glancing up. ]

It isn't the first time I've had to kill a friend.

Thank you, Anders.

[ as if he's doing her a favor for letting her help. she will carefully bandage his fingers. it will look pretty, at the very least, but she does have steady hands. ]

Even if it's not a first time doesn't meant it doesn't hurt. Even if it's your everyday to lose someone, it doesn't mean it still won't hurt somewhere.

At least... that's how it was with me.

[ he'll let her do it without complaint or flinching, simply watching her do it and gently adjusting if he thinks something needs changing - only wincing slightly every once in a while. ]

I imagine you must lose a lot.

[ being that old. ]

I've lost and gained much, but many of those were a long time ago. Yours are much fresher.

[ a half-shrug. ]

It's not as if Justice is new. Some part of me has been around for centuries. Longer, probably.

Will you tell me a little more about Justice? In some ways... you speak of it as the concept. In other ways, you speak of it as an entity.

[ she can't read metatext. ]

I'd like to learn more about you, if you'd let me.

It's both.

[ yeah it probably would help to clear it up. ]

He is spirit of the Fade. The Fade is inhabited by demons and spirits, who reflect the worst and best of our sins and virtues. Fear, Pride, Sloth. Wisdom, Faith, Love. They will seek to embody these ideals, be created and formed by them. Strengthed when they are fulfilled and weakened when they are denied. Most of them are fascinated by our world, crave it in some way or at least want to know more of it. Demons will seek to possess mages, either through force or trickery, take over their minds and puppet their bodies. It is one of the things we are trained against, and part of the reason people fear us so much.

We met a long time ago, when I was with the Grey Wardens. He was infuriating. Frustrating to talk to, stubborn beyond all measure. Brave, and true. Maybe brave is even the wrong word. He does not know fear, so there is no other way for him to be. I was afraid all the time. It's why I ran so much, from everything. He asked me once why I did not fight for the Mages and only helped myself, and I had no good answer. He was the first person to hear about the mages and react only with a desire to see justice for them instead of fear or doubt. He was my friend.

At the time, he was trapped outside of the Fade. A blood mage had torn him from his home and left him here, in the mundane world, with only a corpse to inhabit. We agreed that ... a willing host is different than an unwitting mage. And he is a spirit, not a demon. We could help each other to do the things we could not do alone.

[ you had that ready so fast.

once she's finished bandaging his fingers, she gently holds his hands, if he lets her. ]

It sounds like you and Justice have been through a lot. The both of you were trapped and found a way to connect. I don't know if I can call it balanced, but I do not doubt your friendship.

Is seeking justice what sent you here?

[ doing something they could not do alone. ]

[ well, perhaps unshockingly, lots of people are askin' "hey whats up with the insane glowing guy" as of late so its best to be prepared ]

Yes.

[ gesturing vaguely with the hand that isn't being bandaged. ]

I don't know how much you all could see, but-- I destroyed the Kirkwall Chantry. I killed the Grand Cleric Elthina. But it was the only way forward for the mages. The Templars would never release their grasp, and the Mages would never act without provocation. The Chantry sat between them, offering nothing but toothless compromise, promising the The Maker would move as he saw fit.

The Maker is an absent god. We can only help ourselves. Justice would not be given, so it had to be taken.

It was a magnificent sight.

[ magnificent is not always good, but elysia takes this talk of murder, mass or not, in stride. ]

You were aiming for a revolution, or at least a change, no matter the cost. I've never felt strongly for justice, but I can understand it.

I can't dislike anyone for doing what they thought would better lives or for feeling so passionately.

It was necessary. I do not regret it.

[ pulling his hand back at this point, clenching it to test the flex. ]

Hawke executed me for it.

[ that creates a new perspective. ]

What a cruel twist this place has given the both of you. [ ... ] Were you happy with him, Anders?

[ there is something about elysia's questions that kind of provoke honesty. or at least make him feel he needs to provide an explanation. ]

Yes.

[ but. ]

I wanted him for seven years. I didn't think he wanted me in the same way. Or the timing was not right, or I was too involved with my goals, or he or I would say something the wrong way. But he could have chosen me at any time. I don't think I could have ever denied him for long.

I think I am ... easier to deal, as someone dead. But I am not really someone who can be fixed, or changed, or made to live a normal life - even if we are given a second chance. I will always be who I am, and I don't know that he wants that person when I am alive.

[ oh, that makes her heart ache. she understands it, saw the destruction symbolized in the execution, but it doesn't make it any less heartbreaking. she knows especially about being someone who can't be anyone other than who they are now. ]

You should be loved for who you are, Justice and all, at your worst and your best.

[ if they won't take him at blowing up the chantry, they don't deserve him at naming cute cats. ]

I can't speak for him, and I won't ever try to, but if I were him, I'd accept you as you are and make a place for you... alive or dead.

I don't know where you'll be at the end of this, but I hope you'll be able to reconnect with him somehow. You deserve more peace.

[ elysia can fly, and since he's so much taller, she's just going to drop in from above to hug him as her greeting. ]

Hi, Anders! Tell me what's new about you in the weeks I've missed you~

[ he jumps, because he was NOT expecting that - enough she might get a light shock like static electricity inadvertantly. ]

Elysia?

HEWWO? ]

Oh!

[ a little shock's not too bad. she doesn't mind it. she laughs. ]

Did I surprise you too much? Sorry. I thought this way was more fun.

Huh. You can fly.

[ that's a cool ability. she is so beautiful ... ]

You asked me a question, but I've already forgotten what it was.

[ ANDERS....

unfortunately, this only makes elysia laugh more, a light and tinkling sound. ]

I don't know if you're flattering me on purpose or on accident, but it's cute both ways.

[ she is still hugging him. it's fine. ]

You're supposed to tell what's made you happy lately.

[ does he experience the emotion of happiness ... ? ]

It's been very good to see everyone. It's a relief to know you are all alright, despite everything.

[ please know at least a sliver of happiness, anders. elysia wishes for it. ]

I'm happy to see you again, too. We're all back together again, and even if we're all works in progress, I think we can manage a happier ending than how it's been going for so many of you.

At least, that's what I'm hoping for.

anders catchall

weekend 0, saturday

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W1 - MONDAY

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week 1, sunday

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week 7, monday

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