[ there is something about elysia's questions that kind of provoke honesty. or at least make him feel he needs to provide an explanation. ]
Yes.
[ but. ]
I wanted him for seven years. I didn't think he wanted me in the same way. Or the timing was not right, or I was too involved with my goals, or he or I would say something the wrong way. But he could have chosen me at any time. I don't think I could have ever denied him for long.
I think I am ... easier to deal, as someone dead. But I am not really someone who can be fixed, or changed, or made to live a normal life - even if we are given a second chance. I will always be who I am, and I don't know that he wants that person when I am alive.
[ oh, that makes her heart ache. she understands it, saw the destruction symbolized in the execution, but it doesn't make it any less heartbreaking. she knows especially about being someone who can't be anyone other than who they are now. ]
You should be loved for who you are, Justice and all, at your worst and your best.
[ if they won't take him at blowing up the chantry, they don't deserve him at naming cute cats. ]
I can't speak for him, and I won't ever try to, but if I were him, I'd accept you as you are and make a place for you... alive or dead.
I don't know where you'll be at the end of this, but I hope you'll be able to reconnect with him somehow. You deserve more peace.
no subject
What a cruel twist this place has given the both of you. [ ... ] Were you happy with him, Anders?
no subject
Yes.
[ but. ]
I wanted him for seven years. I didn't think he wanted me in the same way. Or the timing was not right, or I was too involved with my goals, or he or I would say something the wrong way. But he could have chosen me at any time. I don't think I could have ever denied him for long.
I think I am ... easier to deal, as someone dead. But I am not really someone who can be fixed, or changed, or made to live a normal life - even if we are given a second chance. I will always be who I am, and I don't know that he wants that person when I am alive.
no subject
You should be loved for who you are, Justice and all, at your worst and your best.
[ if they won't take him at blowing up the chantry, they don't deserve him at naming cute cats. ]
I can't speak for him, and I won't ever try to, but if I were him, I'd accept you as you are and make a place for you... alive or dead.
I don't know where you'll be at the end of this, but I hope you'll be able to reconnect with him somehow. You deserve more peace.