florescences | anders catchall

[ you had that ready so fast.

once she's finished bandaging his fingers, she gently holds his hands, if he lets her. ]

It sounds like you and Justice have been through a lot. The both of you were trapped and found a way to connect. I don't know if I can call it balanced, but I do not doubt your friendship.

Is seeking justice what sent you here?

[ doing something they could not do alone. ]

[ well, perhaps unshockingly, lots of people are askin' "hey whats up with the insane glowing guy" as of late so its best to be prepared ]

Yes.

[ gesturing vaguely with the hand that isn't being bandaged. ]

I don't know how much you all could see, but-- I destroyed the Kirkwall Chantry. I killed the Grand Cleric Elthina. But it was the only way forward for the mages. The Templars would never release their grasp, and the Mages would never act without provocation. The Chantry sat between them, offering nothing but toothless compromise, promising the The Maker would move as he saw fit.

The Maker is an absent god. We can only help ourselves. Justice would not be given, so it had to be taken.

It was a magnificent sight.

[ magnificent is not always good, but elysia takes this talk of murder, mass or not, in stride. ]

You were aiming for a revolution, or at least a change, no matter the cost. I've never felt strongly for justice, but I can understand it.

I can't dislike anyone for doing what they thought would better lives or for feeling so passionately.

It was necessary. I do not regret it.

[ pulling his hand back at this point, clenching it to test the flex. ]

Hawke executed me for it.

[ that creates a new perspective. ]

What a cruel twist this place has given the both of you. [ ... ] Were you happy with him, Anders?

[ there is something about elysia's questions that kind of provoke honesty. or at least make him feel he needs to provide an explanation. ]

Yes.

[ but. ]

I wanted him for seven years. I didn't think he wanted me in the same way. Or the timing was not right, or I was too involved with my goals, or he or I would say something the wrong way. But he could have chosen me at any time. I don't think I could have ever denied him for long.

I think I am ... easier to deal, as someone dead. But I am not really someone who can be fixed, or changed, or made to live a normal life - even if we are given a second chance. I will always be who I am, and I don't know that he wants that person when I am alive.

[ oh, that makes her heart ache. she understands it, saw the destruction symbolized in the execution, but it doesn't make it any less heartbreaking. she knows especially about being someone who can't be anyone other than who they are now. ]

You should be loved for who you are, Justice and all, at your worst and your best.

[ if they won't take him at blowing up the chantry, they don't deserve him at naming cute cats. ]

I can't speak for him, and I won't ever try to, but if I were him, I'd accept you as you are and make a place for you... alive or dead.

I don't know where you'll be at the end of this, but I hope you'll be able to reconnect with him somehow. You deserve more peace.

anders catchall

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