florescences | shadowheart catchall

[hard to say. absently, she rubs her hand.]

I do regret it. Or rather, I did?

[it wasn't exactly easy, to choose to defy shar. to turn on everything she'd been taught and throw away her only opportunity to succeed at the one thing she'd thought she'd wanted all of her life.

and then it went so wrong. she died. she was promised a new path, a new sense of identity - at least the chance to try. but aylin flew away to fight another battle and she never made it long enough to talk to her again, to learn what she knew.]

I tried to change, but it didn't work. It just got me killed. I wanted to know what life could have been without her, but I never learned anything.

If you believe in what the angels have said, you can still change, and you can still learn. I don't think this is the end for you.

[ elysia's confidence is not so unfounded. it takes a lot of courage to make the kind of choice shadowheart did, and even here, dead after making such a choice, she didn't completely lapse into embracing shar's ideals. that says enough to elysia. ]

The way you have acted here - isn't it a continuation of the choice you made? How do you like how you've been here, with the people here?

The you now, even if you're still uncertain, is beautiful to me, and whatever choice you settle with, whatever change... I think will make you even more so.

[she smiles a bit at this, almost exasperated - it's just so elysia to still have faith in her.]

Last week, I saw what my life would be like, if I had embraced Lady Shar. And it was a bit embarrassing, wasn't it?

[i mean, also, she changed completely. she lost all of her feelings, all of her regrets, all of her beliefs. aylin warned her that sacrificing her would cost her a price she didn't understand, that shar had never explained, but now she knows what she meant by that - it changed who she was on such a fundamental level. and then she had feelings again here, and it was driving her mad, knowing what it was like to no longer feel pain or uncertainty and then to be thrust back into it.

it's terrifying, knowing how close she came to completely losing herself. but we can go with embarrassing.]

I don't think I want that, so it leaves me few options.

You were striking then, but I do think you're cuter now.

[ the possibility of last week was real, and it does make elysia wonder how close shadowheart was to making that decision. the past can't be changed, and she is happier to see this shadowheart.

she will let shadowheart keep it at embarrassing. ]

Although if making that choice got you killed, we'll have to think of a way to get around that, right?

Cuter, but less striking? Hmm. A difficult bargain to accept.

[striking is better but, well, elysia is probably not wrong.]

...Yes. I should think so. It's not exactly an easy path I have waiting for me back there.

Aww, Shadowheart, cuter is much more versatile. I should know~

[ she crosses the distance between them and reaches for her hand, the hand that shadowheart was rubbing absently not so long ago. ]

You'll have to tell me how you'll avert the danger that awaits you.

[a small smile at that, but she will take her hand. the mark is still on the back of it, present as ever.]

It's unusual for a goddess to kill a mortal directly. [something happened in a way it wasn't supposed to, to have her wind up here.] I was trapped in her realm, in the Shadowfell, but once I'm free of it, that isn't the concern.

[though she looks at her hand.]

Pain, yes. But it won't kill me. No, she'll send followers after me. I'll only have to be stronger than they are, even without the blessings Shar gave me.

[and despite the fact that she rudely flew away, there's still aylin. and... there's still selûne. who at the least must owe her a debt by now, even if that's still hard to contemplate.]

[ that's confidence enough for elysia. even if it'd better if there were no pain and that followers wouldn't go after her, she doesn't think shadowheart would have an inflated view of her abilities. she remembers there were friends who went with shadowheart, friends she was willing to be vulnerable in front of. ]

All right. I'm appeased enough by that. Shar isn't your biggest concern, but what is....?

[ she tries to remember what else was mentioned in the memory. ]

Parasites?

The parasite is not great.

[though maybe it's more accurate to say that shar is her biggest concern, but she doesn't want her to be.]

I'd like to try... having the things that were denied to me. Knowing who I am, having a future, having things that are mine. That cannot happen until the parasite problem is resolved, but if I'm being honest, that's more worrisome to me.

[ she squeezes her hand gently. ]

You deserve all of those. I don't know what kind of threat the parasite is, but surely, you and your friends are on your way to solving it, right? If your trial was in the middle of it...

[ she does not know enough to dim her optimism yet. ]

I would not be surprised if the solved it without my aid entirely. Although Gale's plan for it was a tad drastic.

[maybe he already blew himself up and ended the whole issue.

also give me elysia memory?]

Gale?

[ before memshare swept us away, elysia would have answered shadowheart in our last thread. she would have said she was battling something that was corrupting her world, the elysian realm. it did not go as planned.

the images in the mirrors change.

the honkai is a threat to elysia's world, to human civilization more specifically. it manifests in monsters, in beasts, in radiation, in illnesses, in natural disasters. it can take over certain humans and create vessels of them and wield unimaginable powers based on a concept they are named for, an authority. that is a herrscher.

it is finally time for elysia to face the herrscher of corruption, and she talks to her first, to understand. it does not mean she will let her live. an enemy remains an enemy to elysia.

this is story with(out) any significance. (2:05:24 to 2:12:14 when it says delete completed )

yay ]

[being so yuri for elysia you become evil... relatable...]

That's how it ended for you?

[even though there are still five minutes left in this video. it seems unfair.]

What will she do?

[ those five minutes could be world ending?

she nods. that was how she ended up here. ]

She has the ability to corrupt and propagate. She can infect and corrupt machines and humans both, so she'd probably fire nuclear warheads at every major city. Nuclear warheads are one of the most destructive weapons of the world I live in.

[thanks for clarifying because she was going to ask.]

So you needed to stop her from spreading, even if it cost you your life.

[ she remembers shadowheart is not modern. she is trying to be good about it. ]

Yeah. I want the current civilization to have a future. That's always been my goal.

When you said you expected your story to come to an end, is that what you meant? You would give your life for this, but you would want the chance to stop her from succeeding?

You understand me.

[ she's pleased, but she'll add more softly: ]

Every story has an ending, but it's never easy for me to say goodbye. I wouldn't have existed for so long, if it was.

Is that all there is, to understanding you?

[that she genuinely means the many wonderful things she says, that she would give her life for those things? shadowheart smiles at that, slightly amused.]

If understanding you means believing in you, then I do. To my surprise, but I do. [it isn't natural for her not to question people, doubt their intentions, but it's hard to doubt elysia.]

[ there's a flicker of surprise that disappears when a smile blooms on her face. of most of the people here, she did think it'd be more difficult with shadowheart. ]

Thank you, Shadowheart. I do enjoy surprising people that way.

[ it's said lightly but no less sincere than she's ever been. ]

It's not all of it, but it is a huge part of it. You asked me once what I was afraid of. I doubted the truth of my existence once.

[ in front of the mirrors, it's more difficult to deflect when she thinks it can reflect what she wants to take time to address, what she'd like to lead people to slowly, but she'd prefer to be the one to say it. at least, in this moment, she prefers it. ]

You doubted the truth of your existence?

[she's not sure whether she means she doubted herself, or if she means it on a deeper level.]

What did you do, to change?

[ it's both. ]

I accepted that things about my past and my present only made more sense if what I didn't know before was the truth. I didn't like it at first, but if that was now my truth.... what could I do with that new truth?

What could I change? I could change the future.

You say you didn't like it at first, but I imagine it's more difficult than that.

[it sounds impossible, though. to accept putting aside everything that came before and trying to build a path forward out of nothing? she makes it sound so simple, though surely that's many years of hindsight.

of all the things she thought elysia would believe in, nothing is quite as terrifying to her as the prospect of believing in the future. not even necessarily a future she'll see for herself.]

It was.

[ it came after thinking and thinking and thinking and hoping for anything else. she didn't have many options left.

not if she wanted to continue being herself. ]

But if I loved the people who raised me, the people who guided me, the people who befriended me... the people who fought with me and by my side.... If I loved the world I lived in, I wanted it to have a future, with or without me.

... I would have liked it more if it could have been with me.

There's no way that it can be? You've given up on that entirely?

[that is what the situation sounded like, but...]

shadowheart catchall

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)