florescences | shadowheart catchall

[she's frustrated, her mouth pressed in a thin line and smoke-like black and purple colors blooming on her skin like bruises.]

No. I'm not inclined to optimism. Especially when nothing was resolved after last week, nothing was explained.

At least now there won't be any argument that there's something wrong, but too late for those two.

[ elysia's skin shines and becomes foggy like inclusions in a crystal affecting its clarity.

she nods. ]

They wanted so much for it to be a one time thing, for it to be because an illness that plagues Jing Yuan's world, but they already recognized Heaven wasn't functioning as it should. Where do you think it will go from here?

I'm worried about it'll affect everyone.

You're not worried about how you'll be affected?

[it just seemed like a specific turn of phrase.]

I think... I have wondered if perhaps the test we're here for, the redemption, is one that someone is hoping we will fail.

Am I not part of everyone?

[ she smiles a little. ]

You think we were meant to fail? The apples suddenly appearing this week were a little much after what we all witnessed, but... I still am an optimist.

That surprises me a little.

[that she's an optimist. she's so warm, but even so...]

The apples were certainly... a sign that the concept we might kill one another was not an anomaly that no one had ever considered.

Really? I suppose my long existence is a bit of an anomaly.

[ she can recognize that. ]

As if they were grown to tempt... or meant for it? It does go against earlier preconceptions.

Right. The apples wouldn't be a temptation at all unless "death" was possible, something the angels were purportedly not aware of.

They didn't show up until we knew it could be possible, but it does call a lot into question. Are you deciding the angels are untrustworthy?

[ she does not know if shadowheart trusted them even a little or not. ]

[she doesn't want to say no, because that makes her sound too trusting, but...]

It's always possible they were told something that isn't true. Wiser to have the ones interacting with us directly not know everything.

They could be kept in the dark, too. It is easier for people to slip up after a prolonged time....

[ she is open to all ideas, but she can make a personal choice. ]

I will choose to trust them until we are shown more proof not to.

...I think there's wisdom in that. We'll see what they say tomorrow. I've enjoyed speaking with them and would like to believe they are who they appear to be.

It's better to practice innocent until proven guilty than the other way around, and I want to believe in them, too.

We will cross the bridge if we have to if our faith is broken, but I hope our road leads us away from that bridge.

I don't make it a habit to try and believe the best of people.

[almost slightly tired as she says this.]

I don't know how you manage to. [given she's 40,000 years old jfc] You must be disappointed often, mustn't you?

Have you been scarred in the past?

[ she can hear that faint tiredness. at that question, she gives shadowheart a small smile. ]

I've seen my fair share of malice, over and over again, but I've also seen as much kindness. People are contradictory at every turn, but I still think if people retain the chance to keep their humanity... or their heart, that's hope. That's hope we all need.

I don't know.

[an honest answer. there's something about what elysia is saying that sounds insane to her. you'd have to be unwell, broken, to see so much and see hope and beauty and to believe in humanity this much. but then it leads her to wonder why she's so certain herself, and touching on that leads to so many places she's afraid to go.]

I don't think so. I doubt I've seen much of the world or of people at all. I just know, that things such as hope are an illusion, a crutch. [it's a fundamental fact of the universe, the same as gravity.]

Hmm, it could just be the way you are. Both can be true.

[ is elysia sane? despite what shadowheart is saying, elysia smiles. ]

If hope is an illusion, then how do you know when things are so dark that you can barely see? And even if all it is is a crutch, what's so wrong with that? If you break your leg, shouldn't you have help to keep you moving forward?

In perfect darkness, you move, you act, you rely on instincts instead of only what you see ahead of you. It's the light that blinds.

[darkness is literally her religion, so.]

All of that is what prevents most people from finding themselves in the dark.

[ suddenly, things make a lot more sense

elysia has witnessed a few in her time, and she likes learning about them all even if she doesn't agree with everything they teach. ]

What do you do if people stay lost in the dark?

[oh?]

Some will, surely. Not everyone has the strength to find their way. But Shar is showing them kindness, whether they know it or not. We teach them how to embrace loss.

There is no way to escape loss, so that is something we all must learn. [ it's something she agrees with. ] I just think... even if light is blinding, once you open your eyes again and adjust to it, you can see something new.

There's nothing wrong with knowing who you are in the dark but also wanting to see how you are in the light.

[this conversation is making her so uncomfortable.]

Is there not? [she has no way to refute that.] I admit that I haven't tried.

shadowheart catchall

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