elysia does have to close her eyes, hearing this. she lets the words sink in a little.
she laughs softly, but there's a little more warmth to her laughter than usual. ]
You two are so cute. You should have let him say that to me, for your agenda. [ it's teasing. ] Can't I be a little more perfect than everyone and also just like anyone else?
[ this question doesn't make sense, but she means it. ]
[ HOW CAN HE NOT SWOON ABOUT THIS... IT'S SO ROMANTIC.....
but he's just laughing ]
I can't believe he hasn't said it to you himself but.. of course you can! [ SO EASILY.... ] I think you're perfect, even if it's not the type of perfect that everyone else aspires to. It's not a perfection that comes without fault or mistake, but one where you are yourself. And there is no greater beauty than you as you are.
[ they're just walking along, but he'll use her hand in his to gently guide her into a twirl even as they go ]
But Adolphe's right, too. That you're just like anyone else, and you struggle like we do to find what's right, even though you have a bit more confidence and certainty with every step you take. But to know there's humanity in that too, and the trying is what makes every action all the more significant.
[ he's swooning more than elysia is although both their words leave an impact in different ways, in different degrees.
she spins effortlessly when he twirls her, her skirt fanning out as she rotates. her laugh catches a little in her throat in a way that's both incredulous and horribly amused. ]
What am I going to do with the both of you?
[ she sighs and swings their hands as they continue to walk towards the flowers. ]
[ . . . well, he's heard it before. they've already been here, haven't they? words of love and affection, even if they were before some of the understanding they've reached.
yves cherishes elysia's letters. he's kept each one and pressed them with flowers like little witnesses to their words of affection. ]
[ they're words she only wanted to reiterate, now that she's seen him again, to say aloud instead of penning to paper, again and again.
she knows more the shape of his love now and the ways he loves her. every letter she's received is kept in pristine condition, every word a treasure kept close to her heart, every instance of understanding somehow fragile yet unbreakable in her memory. ]
I know. [ she's not abashed to say or acknowledge it. ] Are you still afraid? Have the others lessened that for you?
That's a good change. [ the first part, at least ] The people here are kinder in their own unique ways. If anyone here cast you aside, I'd be surprised.
[ they're not influenced by the isolated culture the island seemed to cultivate.
she's contemplative as she listens, looking at the flowers visible in the distance. ]
The kind of love you want... the way you want to be loved... it's the kind of love you'd face the whole world for. Is that right?
I want to be in love with someone who is in love with me.
[ he's learned well enough now that he's loved. people are kind to him, but they always follow it up with 'you are such a wonderful friend' and so he knows, still, it's not what he's looking for.
he does remember this conversation. and so his heart does skip a bit, treacherously and traitorously. still, he just smiles at her and tilts his head ]
... someone told me it's possible to love more than one person at once. I think... that's true, because I do. I think it's also possible to be in love with more than one person at once.
[ . . . ]
I think the people I'm in love with right now might make that complicated.
[ because... he wants adolphe to be with elysia, because he thinks they could make each other happy—but that depends on adolphe, just as much as it depends on elysia. yves can't force things, even if he can be gentle in her encouragement and sincere with his observations.
and... well. there is claude.
they make it to the flowers, and yves turns to face elysia. he takes both of her hands in his and looks thoughtful. he didn't think he'd have to think this hard about falling in love. or maybe it's not the falling that was the hard part, but what comes after. the landing. ]
... but I do love you, Ellie. Every piece. I don't want to shy away from that, just because other things are complicated. If it's about the feeling, then I think you deserve to hear that from me. I want you to hear it from me.
To know that someone's seen all the parts of you that you care to share—and I love you.
How many times have you been told you're getting ahead of yourself?
[ it's said with fondness because there's more than adolphe getting in his own way that's the problem.
however, with elysia, the key to understanding her is understanding how she loves and how much she wants to be just like what she loves. to call her human and acknowledge her humanity despite how she's never been a human, to call her an ordinary girl just like everyone else despite how abnormal she can be.
yves took such a fatal line away from adolphe.
but it is what comes after that is the hard part. there's no denying the warmth she feels in his presence or from his words. how couldn't she know love when she feels it? ]
I love you, too, Yves. I am in love with you. [ because he deserves to hear that, too, if it's just about the feeling, she can say it easily enough. that's not the difficult part.
she looks at their joined hands, smiling as she always does. ] I don't know if there was any other outcome to your earnestness. I don't think I could have stopped myself from loving you even if I wanted to. I don't mind that you're in love with others. I can guess who they are.
[ she accepts that as much as she accepts loving him, as readily as she accepts yves loving her. his heart seeks and seeks.
she intertwines her fingers with his in spite of the words she chooses next. ]
I know I can love more than one person, but Yves, if you had to choose, I want you to choose the other people you love.
[ everyday i will be shaking over the fact that adolphe never said that to her king why do you leave all your banger romantic lines for your best friend who even are you
understanding is an interesting thing, though. for yves, who knew elysia for one week and came to the conclusion that they were cut from the same cloth. there are things about her that feel so faraway—to think that she is someone who is meant to destroy humanity, and yet. and yet to meet her, and love her nonetheless.
still, it warms his heart to be told that she's in love with him too. it is what he wanted to hear for so long, and... it makes him feel just a little bit like he's floating. for something that he chased after for so long, he was worried. would it not be enough? would it never fully measure up to what he was hoping for?
he didn't need to be worried. his heart aches in the best way, and it finally feels like a pain that's a little worthwhile.
and yet— ]
Ahaha... why did I have a feeling you'd say that?
[ he accepts their intertwined fingers, but he also uses their hold to pull her close to him. as if they've been apart for far too long already. ]
Tell me why, Ellie. [ soft, not all that demanding ] Why would you not want me to choose you when I've already been in love with you for so long?
she lets herself be pulled to him. there's no resistance to the closeness, and there's little resistance to his question, but she looks at him for a long moment, as if she's choosing which words she wants to say first and wanting to treasure this moment for one second more. she etches his warmth, his expression, his presence into her heart. ]
Because as happy as loving and being loved by you makes me, I think you'll be happier with the other people you love. You wrote to me that you were planning to go with Adolphe after all of this was over, right? And you said you were asking about going somewhere else, too, weren't you? Maybe to where the other person you love lives?
[ she is thinking about claude and the role she had in taking away claude. ]
When I think about that kind of future for you, it leaves me satisfied.
[ she does think it's a good thing his heart is so open as to have fallen in love with others. she's never been possessive or jealous. she can be greedy and want more, but the way her greed manifests shifts and changes with every new desire she has. ]
Once, I told you I don't think anyone should fall in love me, and although I'm selfish enough to cherish the love you hold for me now, the reason I said that still remains.
[ she takes a small breath, as if to steady herself. this is the difficult part for her, the part where she wonders if maybe she should have kept silent about her feelings.
but she doesn't like leaving things unsaid when she can help it, and it's difficult for her to not answer yves when he asks for something. ]
I can't promise you any more time than the time we have here.
[ if he were to be truly honest with himself, he'd guessed as much. elysia had shared that she'd already met the end of her life, and has since lived in her simulation. in that simulation, she's able to be with all of her friends, yes—but they are not exactly alive. and if yves is to be honest with himself, when he thinks about where he wants to take adolphe after this... a place that is not truly alive isn't quite right. not when there's options for them to proceed elsewhere.
that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt to know. that doesn't mean it doesn't cause him an ache deep in his chest to hear it. ]
... you have somewhere else to be, right? [ if he remembers correctly. ] Is it somewhere you don't want to be followed?
[ is there no chance of meeting again after this, even if it's possible to connect the different worlds? he finds himself wondering, because even now, he seeks love. always, he seeks love.
it is hard to have what he wants given to him and then immediately slipping out of his fingers before he can get a true grasp on it ]
[ there is a real and living world outside her simulation world, but it's not one that elysia would ever choose to go because it is not her era to live in. she is history that has been stricken out, and she could not tell anyone to go to a world where almost no one knows who she is.
she takes another breath. it's moments like this when she's her most fragile, when she knows her decisions can lead to something being broken. ]
I'm sorry. All I can seem to do is make cruel choices lately. It's not a matter of want... if it was about what I wanted....
[ that'd be another answer. ]
There will be nowhere to follow me to once I've finished what I set out to do.
[ it's different from the confident, glowing girl that everyone gets to see—even if right now, yves still thinks that she's so lovely. he'll let his arm settle around her waist instead, pulling her close to him so that he can be whatever type of shield or guardian he can muster. even if it's just for a short time.
he tucks her hair behind her ear before letting his hand cup her cheek gently. with so much affection and tenderness, he leans down to press a kiss to the opposite cheek, as if that'll do anything at all to help. maybe it won't make anything better, but he hopes it won't make anything worse. ]
... I know that what you want is to always help people. To do your best with the difficult situation you're handed.
[ and that's something he could never condemn her for. ]
It's alright to admit it's frightening. That you don't want things to end.
I made my peace with the end of my story. That's not what I'm afraid of. It's an ending I've chosen for myself.
[ she will make it as glorious an ending as she possibly can, for herself and for her friends. she knows what she has to do there. all she ever does is try to grant a future to others.
but here in heaven, where she is more out of her element, where she is among more people to love and leave, more people to say goodbye to, it makes her waver, especially during this week. he cups her cheek, and he kisses her other cheek, and her emotions make her begin to glow a little, crystals forming behind her among the flowers. she tries to keep them at bay, but it's difficult when there is loss of some control. ]
If I'm honest, I don't want to have to say goodbye to you. I don't want to love you and have to leave you.
[ ... ]
I guess there's a part of me that wants to be selfish.
[ he understands. and he'd said it well enough in the letter— ]
Even if I understand the choices that you make, I will always want to choose you.
[ no matter how selfish it makes him. there is a version of events where elysia is the only person that he's in love with, and he follows her even if there's nowhere else to be after, because it doesn't matter to him that there will be no world to exist in after because she is already his entire world. it is so close that there are whispers of it in his ear, telling him that for the love he craves what other option is there in this—such maddeningly simple, adoring minutes.
he can only just barely resist it.
instead, he'll lean down to press his lips to hers as if to capture some of that selfishness himself. ]
Thank you for showing me your honesty and your selfishness.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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About me? What about you?
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But then he said, "She's not perfect! To call her perfect is an insult! She's just like anyone else!"
[ hE HAS
STARS IN HIS EYES AS HE'S RECITING THIS
MY GOD
HE SWOONED ON ELYSIA'S BEHALF
HE'S STILL SWOONING ]
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elysia does have to close her eyes, hearing this. she lets the words sink in a little.
she laughs softly, but there's a little more warmth to her laughter than usual. ]
You two are so cute. You should have let him say that to me, for your agenda. [ it's teasing. ] Can't I be a little more perfect than everyone and also just like anyone else?
[ this question doesn't make sense, but she means it. ]
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but he's just laughing ]
I can't believe he hasn't said it to you himself but.. of course you can! [ SO EASILY.... ] I think you're perfect, even if it's not the type of perfect that everyone else aspires to. It's not a perfection that comes without fault or mistake, but one where you are yourself. And there is no greater beauty than you as you are.
[ they're just walking along, but he'll use her hand in his to gently guide her into a twirl even as they go ]
But Adolphe's right, too. That you're just like anyone else, and you struggle like we do to find what's right, even though you have a bit more confidence and certainty with every step you take. But to know there's humanity in that too, and the trying is what makes every action all the more significant.
Of course you're both.
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she spins effortlessly when he twirls her, her skirt fanning out as she rotates. her laugh catches a little in her throat in a way that's both incredulous and horribly amused. ]
What am I going to do with the both of you?
[ she sighs and swings their hands as they continue to walk towards the flowers. ]
I love you, Yves, as easy as breathing.
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yves cherishes elysia's letters. he's kept each one and pressed them with flowers like little witnesses to their words of affection. ]
I love you too, Ellie, with my whole heart.
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she knows more the shape of his love now and the ways he loves her. every letter she's received is kept in pristine condition, every word a treasure kept close to her heart, every instance of understanding somehow fragile yet unbreakable in her memory. ]
I know. [ she's not abashed to say or acknowledge it. ] Are you still afraid? Have the others lessened that for you?
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... yes and no.
I don't think I'm afraid of rejection anymore. I don't think anyone will get my hopes up about loving me and then cast me aside... not here, at least.
[ it's not like the island where they are all so superstitious and terrified every single day of their lives. ]
... but I do wonder if I'm not meant to be loved the way I want to be loved, since it keeps happening.
And I wonder... if I need to start becoming okay with that.
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[ they're not influenced by the isolated culture the island seemed to cultivate.
she's contemplative as she listens, looking at the flowers visible in the distance. ]
The kind of love you want... the way you want to be loved... it's the kind of love you'd face the whole world for. Is that right?
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I want to be in love with someone who is in love with me.
[ he's learned well enough now that he's loved. people are kind to him, but they always follow it up with 'you are such a wonderful friend' and so he knows, still, it's not what he's looking for.
he cherishes it. he loves it.
but dear god he wants to be in love so badly ]
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it's the simplicity that makes her say: ]
And if I said, I think you understand me?
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he does remember this conversation. and so his heart does skip a bit, treacherously and traitorously. still, he just smiles at her and tilts his head ]
Do you want to be in love with me, Ellie?
[ for as much as love is a choice. ]
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[ she mirrors the head tilt. ]
I don't know how much of it was a choice, so much as it was natural. You listened to what I said, and my feelings responded.
When I told you what I wanted, I was honest.
[ it's as simple and as difficult as that. ]
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... what about Adolphe?
[ the way that this is mutual love confessions but yves is like. still gotta think about my bro ]
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Hmm... I know what you'd prefer. If it's you, I won't deflect. Sometimes, he says things that make me think he could understand me.
And then the next thing out his mouth is how he thinks he can't. Because he thinks he hasn't earned it yet.
That's how you two can be alike.
[1/2]
He really just needs to get out of his own way. He's so annoying and needs to admit I'm right about everything.
[ factually untrue, ]
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... someone told me it's possible to love more than one person at once. I think... that's true, because I do. I think it's also possible to be in love with more than one person at once.
[ . . . ]
I think the people I'm in love with right now might make that complicated.
[ because... he wants adolphe to be with elysia, because he thinks they could make each other happy—but that depends on adolphe, just as much as it depends on elysia. yves can't force things, even if he can be gentle in her encouragement and sincere with his observations.
and... well. there is claude.
they make it to the flowers, and yves turns to face elysia. he takes both of her hands in his and looks thoughtful. he didn't think he'd have to think this hard about falling in love. or maybe it's not the falling that was the hard part, but what comes after. the landing. ]
... but I do love you, Ellie. Every piece. I don't want to shy away from that, just because other things are complicated. If it's about the feeling, then I think you deserve to hear that from me. I want you to hear it from me.
To know that someone's seen all the parts of you that you care to share—and I love you.
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[ it's said with fondness because there's more than adolphe getting in his own way that's the problem.
however, with elysia, the key to understanding her is understanding how she loves and how much she wants to be just like what she loves. to call her human and acknowledge her humanity despite how she's never been a human, to call her an ordinary girl just like everyone else despite how abnormal she can be.
yves took such a fatal line away from adolphe.
but it is what comes after that is the hard part. there's no denying the warmth she feels in his presence or from his words. how couldn't she know love when she feels it? ]
I love you, too, Yves. I am in love with you. [ because he deserves to hear that, too, if it's just about the feeling, she can say it easily enough. that's not the difficult part.
she looks at their joined hands, smiling as she always does. ] I don't know if there was any other outcome to your earnestness. I don't think I could have stopped myself from loving you even if I wanted to. I don't mind that you're in love with others. I can guess who they are.
[ she accepts that as much as she accepts loving him, as readily as she accepts yves loving her. his heart seeks and seeks.
she intertwines her fingers with his in spite of the words she chooses next. ]
I know I can love more than one person, but Yves, if you had to choose, I want you to choose the other people you love.
no subject
understanding is an interesting thing, though. for yves, who knew elysia for one week and came to the conclusion that they were cut from the same cloth. there are things about her that feel so faraway—to think that she is someone who is meant to destroy humanity, and yet. and yet to meet her, and love her nonetheless.
still, it warms his heart to be told that she's in love with him too. it is what he wanted to hear for so long, and... it makes him feel just a little bit like he's floating. for something that he chased after for so long, he was worried. would it not be enough? would it never fully measure up to what he was hoping for?
he didn't need to be worried. his heart aches in the best way, and it finally feels like a pain that's a little worthwhile.
and yet— ]
Ahaha... why did I have a feeling you'd say that?
[ he accepts their intertwined fingers, but he also uses their hold to pull her close to him. as if they've been apart for far too long already. ]
Tell me why, Ellie. [ soft, not all that demanding ] Why would you not want me to choose you when I've already been in love with you for so long?
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she lets herself be pulled to him. there's no resistance to the closeness, and there's little resistance to his question, but she looks at him for a long moment, as if she's choosing which words she wants to say first and wanting to treasure this moment for one second more. she etches his warmth, his expression, his presence into her heart. ]
Because as happy as loving and being loved by you makes me, I think you'll be happier with the other people you love. You wrote to me that you were planning to go with Adolphe after all of this was over, right? And you said you were asking about going somewhere else, too, weren't you? Maybe to where the other person you love lives?
[ she is thinking about claude and the role she had in taking away claude. ]
When I think about that kind of future for you, it leaves me satisfied.
[ she does think it's a good thing his heart is so open as to have fallen in love with others. she's never been possessive or jealous. she can be greedy and want more, but the way her greed manifests shifts and changes with every new desire she has. ]
Once, I told you I don't think anyone should fall in love me, and although I'm selfish enough to cherish the love you hold for me now, the reason I said that still remains.
[ she takes a small breath, as if to steady herself. this is the difficult part for her, the part where she wonders if maybe she should have kept silent about her feelings.
but she doesn't like leaving things unsaid when she can help it, and it's difficult for her to not answer yves when he asks for something. ]
I can't promise you any more time than the time we have here.
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that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt to know. that doesn't mean it doesn't cause him an ache deep in his chest to hear it. ]
... you have somewhere else to be, right? [ if he remembers correctly. ] Is it somewhere you don't want to be followed?
[ is there no chance of meeting again after this, even if it's possible to connect the different worlds? he finds himself wondering, because even now, he seeks love. always, he seeks love.
it is hard to have what he wants given to him and then immediately slipping out of his fingers before he can get a true grasp on it ]
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she takes another breath. it's moments like this when she's her most fragile, when she knows her decisions can lead to something being broken. ]
I'm sorry. All I can seem to do is make cruel choices lately. It's not a matter of want... if it was about what I wanted....
[ that'd be another answer. ]
There will be nowhere to follow me to once I've finished what I set out to do.
[ nor could she follow him, even if she wanted. ]
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he tucks her hair behind her ear before letting his hand cup her cheek gently. with so much affection and tenderness, he leans down to press a kiss to the opposite cheek, as if that'll do anything at all to help. maybe it won't make anything better, but he hopes it won't make anything worse. ]
... I know that what you want is to always help people. To do your best with the difficult situation you're handed.
[ and that's something he could never condemn her for. ]
It's alright to admit it's frightening. That you don't want things to end.
I wish you didn't have to.
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[ she will make it as glorious an ending as she possibly can, for herself and for her friends. she knows what she has to do there. all she ever does is try to grant a future to others.
but here in heaven, where she is more out of her element, where she is among more people to love and leave, more people to say goodbye to, it makes her waver, especially during this week. he cups her cheek, and he kisses her other cheek, and her emotions make her begin to glow a little, crystals forming behind her among the flowers. she tries to keep them at bay, but it's difficult when there is loss of some control. ]
If I'm honest, I don't want to have to say goodbye to you. I don't want to love you and have to leave you.
[ ... ]
I guess there's a part of me that wants to be selfish.
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Even if I understand the choices that you make, I will always want to choose you.
[ no matter how selfish it makes him. there is a version of events where elysia is the only person that he's in love with, and he follows her even if there's nowhere else to be after, because it doesn't matter to him that there will be no world to exist in after because she is already his entire world. it is so close that there are whispers of it in his ear, telling him that for the love he craves what other option is there in this—such maddeningly simple, adoring minutes.
he can only just barely resist it.
instead, he'll lean down to press his lips to hers as if to capture some of that selfishness himself. ]
Thank you for showing me your honesty and your selfishness.
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