[ she's going to reach up and gently pinch his nose with her free hand. ]
I'm used to all types, but that doesn't make it better.
[ he's... trying. maybe. she is going to give a con artist some benefit of the doubt. ]
Hmm... it depends on how these next few weeks go. I don't like talking about people like numbers, but as long as we don't experience too much loss too fast, we can manage. We're not there yet.
Hurt. Bleeding. Without knowing or realizing it. In some ways, it's like how you won't acknowledge yourself.
[ she won't pretend she knows all of yves or that she's scratched the surface, but it is so clear to her how much he doesn't love himself, and she can't stand it. ]
I believe they'll all be found and brought back. [ there's no doubt in her about that, but. ] We don't know how long that'll take.
[ he just wants people to know what they're getting into when he talks about it ]
I got caught in a fire when I was younger... I was just visiting friends when there was an explosion in the orphanage. There... weren't many survivors. I woke up and saw a young girl who was crying but... resigned. I saved her, because I thought it was too sad to give up. Though... it did result in my getting burned.
It's... not a normal scar. [ a beat ] And the island is already really superstitious. I ended up... losing the life I knew. My parents rejected me, and my Grandpa had already passed... so I ended up in an orphanage.
Though even they only took pity on me. It wasn't true care or affection.
And at some point... things stopped hurting, at least physically.
[ she listens, watching him the whole time. it puts some things into context, about how he said he wants love more than anything, about how he mentioned his grandfather to her first. to be a survivor only to be abandoned and pitied... of course it'd change him.
she thinks he should have been afforded many things he wasn't even if his island couldn't provide it. ]
You did a beautiful thing, trying to save a little girl. You shouldn't have been left like that.
[ she reaches up to touch his face, just below his mask. ]
Your scar... I don't think it's strange that you stopped feeling physical pain... or that you want love more than anything because of that, but I don't really like that it had to happen this way.
[ when she touches his face, there's another little intake of breath. a split second of fear, worried that she'd try to remove it—but her hand stills there, and so does he. his terror escapes in the slow breath that leaves him afterward. ]
... I don't regret it.
[ if that helps. ]
I don't regret saving her. It wasn't her fault. Even if I lost things after... people always ask me to blame her and I... just don't.
[ she wonders why he's so afraid, but still, she smiles. ]
Yeah, I figured you wouldn't. I don't think you should either. You chose to save her, and I want to cherish that. I just think that's a lot to take away from a child for doing something he wanted.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
week 2, post-trial
like he's intentionally making himself easy to find in case people are worried. when he sees you approach he smiles a little sadly and waves ]
Hi. You okay? That one was tough.
no subject
[ she smiles and walks up to him. ]
I'm pretty sure it'll become sadder each and every week.
[ and that is something that does weigh on her. ]
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I'm alright. [ and he does seem to mean this sincerely ]
... but I think so, too. We'll only care about each other more over time.
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You end up looking suspicious too often, Yves.
[ her tone is light. ]
I won't say that's unfortunate because caring for others is unnatural and should happen, but I don't like seeing people sad.
no subject
[ instead of here where it makes everyone think about voting for him, and then guilty about that ]
I don't either... but I don't know if we have an easy solution, Ellie.
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[ the trial system is fucked, but they all know that. ]
We don't. [ she's not conflicted about that. ] I've accepted that already. I just don't want to be unable to make people smile again.
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[ that's
that's something, right ]
... do you think we'll reach that point, Ellie?
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I'm used to all types, but that doesn't make it better.
[ he's... trying. maybe. she is going to give a con artist some benefit of the doubt. ]
Hmm... it depends on how these next few weeks go. I don't like talking about people like numbers, but as long as we don't experience too much loss too fast, we can manage. We're not there yet.
no subject
answers with a little nasally response: ] I'll try not to bother anyone with it...
... I want to believe we'll never get there. People here are resilient, even if things are a bit sad right now.
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It's not about bothering anyone. I want to be bothered. It's because I care about you that I hate to see you like that.
[ she takes back her benefit of the doubt. ]
Their resiliency is what's so beautiful about them. That they can continue to think of tomorrow is what I like to encourage.
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See me like...?
[ a little confused, because yves isn't even bothered to see yves any type of way ]
I think there's a hope to see their friends again, at least, that'll keep them going. It's what keeps me going.
no subject
[ she won't pretend she knows all of yves or that she's scratched the surface, but it is so clear to her how much he doesn't love himself, and she can't stand it. ]
I believe they'll all be found and brought back. [ there's no doubt in her about that, but. ] We don't know how long that'll take.
no subject
[ . . . ]
This just... happened. One day. I didn't mean to...
[ turn off his pain receptors ]
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she can't read his bracket text. she stares at him. ]
You didn't mean to do what?
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[ he knows that trial was moving fast, so he's not sure how many people heard. but he might as well explain with more time ]
But that... just happened one day, after the fire. I still remember instances where I felt pain even after....
Until one day it all just... stopped. Like something inside me broke a little bit.
[ like he couldn't take anymore if he kept feeling the weight of it ]
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[ he did break a little. she squeezes his hand gently. ]
Is it too much to ask you about the fire?
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[ a beat ]
And what there is to say... is rather depressing.
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I'll trade you. Depressing for depressing. But I won't force you.
[ she just wants to understand a little more about what might have broken him. ]
no subject
[ he just wants people to know what they're getting into when he talks about it ]
I got caught in a fire when I was younger... I was just visiting friends when there was an explosion in the orphanage. There... weren't many survivors. I woke up and saw a young girl who was crying but... resigned. I saved her, because I thought it was too sad to give up. Though... it did result in my getting burned.
It's... not a normal scar. [ a beat ] And the island is already really superstitious. I ended up... losing the life I knew. My parents rejected me, and my Grandpa had already passed... so I ended up in an orphanage.
Though even they only took pity on me. It wasn't true care or affection.
And at some point... things stopped hurting, at least physically.
[ it was the trauma ]
no subject
she thinks he should have been afforded many things he wasn't even if his island couldn't provide it. ]
You did a beautiful thing, trying to save a little girl. You shouldn't have been left like that.
[ she reaches up to touch his face, just below his mask. ]
Your scar... I don't think it's strange that you stopped feeling physical pain... or that you want love more than anything because of that, but I don't really like that it had to happen this way.
no subject
... I don't regret it.
[ if that helps. ]
I don't regret saving her. It wasn't her fault. Even if I lost things after... people always ask me to blame her and I... just don't.
It's a choice I made.
no subject
Yeah, I figured you wouldn't. I don't think you should either. You chose to save her, and I want to cherish that. I just think that's a lot to take away from a child for doing something he wanted.
What does your mask mean to you?
no subject
[ it's the only way he even feels well enough to be able to interact with others ]
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[ she can understand that. ]
I want to see your scar, but I won't take that choice from you.
[ she has seen him without his mask but not with his scar, so she has to wonder. ]