[ he just wants people to know what they're getting into when he talks about it ]
I got caught in a fire when I was younger... I was just visiting friends when there was an explosion in the orphanage. There... weren't many survivors. I woke up and saw a young girl who was crying but... resigned. I saved her, because I thought it was too sad to give up. Though... it did result in my getting burned.
It's... not a normal scar. [ a beat ] And the island is already really superstitious. I ended up... losing the life I knew. My parents rejected me, and my Grandpa had already passed... so I ended up in an orphanage.
Though even they only took pity on me. It wasn't true care or affection.
And at some point... things stopped hurting, at least physically.
[ she listens, watching him the whole time. it puts some things into context, about how he said he wants love more than anything, about how he mentioned his grandfather to her first. to be a survivor only to be abandoned and pitied... of course it'd change him.
she thinks he should have been afforded many things he wasn't even if his island couldn't provide it. ]
You did a beautiful thing, trying to save a little girl. You shouldn't have been left like that.
[ she reaches up to touch his face, just below his mask. ]
Your scar... I don't think it's strange that you stopped feeling physical pain... or that you want love more than anything because of that, but I don't really like that it had to happen this way.
[ when she touches his face, there's another little intake of breath. a split second of fear, worried that she'd try to remove it—but her hand stills there, and so does he. his terror escapes in the slow breath that leaves him afterward. ]
... I don't regret it.
[ if that helps. ]
I don't regret saving her. It wasn't her fault. Even if I lost things after... people always ask me to blame her and I... just don't.
[ she wonders why he's so afraid, but still, she smiles. ]
Yeah, I figured you wouldn't. I don't think you should either. You chose to save her, and I want to cherish that. I just think that's a lot to take away from a child for doing something he wanted.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
she can't read his bracket text. she stares at him. ]
You didn't mean to do what?
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[ he knows that trial was moving fast, so he's not sure how many people heard. but he might as well explain with more time ]
But that... just happened one day, after the fire. I still remember instances where I felt pain even after....
Until one day it all just... stopped. Like something inside me broke a little bit.
[ like he couldn't take anymore if he kept feeling the weight of it ]
no subject
[ he did break a little. she squeezes his hand gently. ]
Is it too much to ask you about the fire?
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[ a beat ]
And what there is to say... is rather depressing.
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I'll trade you. Depressing for depressing. But I won't force you.
[ she just wants to understand a little more about what might have broken him. ]
no subject
[ he just wants people to know what they're getting into when he talks about it ]
I got caught in a fire when I was younger... I was just visiting friends when there was an explosion in the orphanage. There... weren't many survivors. I woke up and saw a young girl who was crying but... resigned. I saved her, because I thought it was too sad to give up. Though... it did result in my getting burned.
It's... not a normal scar. [ a beat ] And the island is already really superstitious. I ended up... losing the life I knew. My parents rejected me, and my Grandpa had already passed... so I ended up in an orphanage.
Though even they only took pity on me. It wasn't true care or affection.
And at some point... things stopped hurting, at least physically.
[ it was the trauma ]
no subject
she thinks he should have been afforded many things he wasn't even if his island couldn't provide it. ]
You did a beautiful thing, trying to save a little girl. You shouldn't have been left like that.
[ she reaches up to touch his face, just below his mask. ]
Your scar... I don't think it's strange that you stopped feeling physical pain... or that you want love more than anything because of that, but I don't really like that it had to happen this way.
no subject
... I don't regret it.
[ if that helps. ]
I don't regret saving her. It wasn't her fault. Even if I lost things after... people always ask me to blame her and I... just don't.
It's a choice I made.
no subject
Yeah, I figured you wouldn't. I don't think you should either. You chose to save her, and I want to cherish that. I just think that's a lot to take away from a child for doing something he wanted.
What does your mask mean to you?
no subject
[ it's the only way he even feels well enough to be able to interact with others ]
no subject
[ she can understand that. ]
I want to see your scar, but I won't take that choice from you.
[ she has seen him without his mask but not with his scar, so she has to wonder. ]