You're going to make me cry if you keep saying you have no use or no right to be here.
[ she knows it's not easy to change that kind of mindset, not when he's old enough to be set in it. ]
Isn't it selfish to want to keep you when you keep trying to slip away? But maybe I'm not as sorry as I should be.
[ for wanting him to hold onto her when she can't even promise that she can be held onto. she thinks it's okay if he ends up hating her, if she has to be let go. ]
I don't mind that you're tired. I'll keep trying for the both of us. Thank you for coming back to me.
[ she can embrace the best and worst parts of him, the tired parts, the parts that hollow him out, and she can only hope she can help rebuild certain parts of him, if only a little. ]
[ he doesn't really want to slip away, so - it's okay, that she keeps holding on. it's better to be alive. it's better to take advantage of the time he has. sometimes, when he's alone, he blinks and hours have passed in seconds, and it's unnerving every time. maybe her words can be the nails in his feet that he needs.
a slow exhale, and then a little smile. ]
Of course. [ is all he can manage, at first. but - he holds her hand tightly. ] Thank you for bringing me back.
[ ... ]
I wouldn't mind taking a walk down the beach, if you'd like to come with me.
[ just to shake off the very last bit of numbness. ]
[ she will painfully hammer in ever nail if she has to. she won't ever have the years he's had with feixiao or moze, but for the few weeks they're together, she'll do whatever she can to hang onto him.
she holds onto his hand just as tight, and after a moment, she rises on the balls of her feet to kiss him on the cheek. ]
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no subject
[ she knows it's not easy to change that kind of mindset, not when he's old enough to be set in it. ]
Isn't it selfish to want to keep you when you keep trying to slip away? But maybe I'm not as sorry as I should be.
[ for wanting him to hold onto her when she can't even promise that she can be held onto. she thinks it's okay if he ends up hating her, if she has to be let go. ]
I don't mind that you're tired. I'll keep trying for the both of us. Thank you for coming back to me.
[ she can embrace the best and worst parts of him, the tired parts, the parts that hollow him out, and she can only hope she can help rebuild certain parts of him, if only a little. ]
no subject
a slow exhale, and then a little smile. ]
Of course. [ is all he can manage, at first. but - he holds her hand tightly. ] Thank you for bringing me back.
[ ... ]
I wouldn't mind taking a walk down the beach, if you'd like to come with me.
[ just to shake off the very last bit of numbness. ]
no subject
she holds onto his hand just as tight, and after a moment, she rises on the balls of her feet to kiss him on the cheek. ]
I'd go anywhere with you, Jiaoqiu.