[ she can understand where he's coming from with what he may or may not know. she sighs and shifts her hold on the kitten as it vies for more attention. ]
That's one of the things I wish would change about him. [ how much of it is hiding his hurt, how much of it is actually not being able to feel the hurt anymore. ] He told me, after this, he wants to live somewhere new with Adolphe. I want that for him, too.
I have to go back home, and that's not somewhere where either of them should go, even if they wanted to.
You already know Yves wouldn't blame you for not feeling the same. He never does.
[ but that's also part of the issue. what claude says makes her laugh a little, but it lacks much mirth. ]
Yeah, isn't it funny? [ it's heartbreaking. love is so important to the both of them, and yet— ] But I do understand your point. I don't know if anything will change, but... you're probably right. I don't know if I let him say his piece. He... accepted it quickly enough.
[ ... ]
I don't know if he will tell me what he really wants if I ask because he probably won't want to make me sad.
I don't know. He was pretty honest about it with me, though it took a bit of time.
[ He's not a romantic, but still, he just... Wants it to work. He thinks that people should be able to fill their lives with what they love.
For him, it's his dreams and ambitions, the future he wants to build and the lives he wants to better. He knows there's more to her than just her love for people, but it doesn't sit right with him to let a personal love be something sacrificed. ]
But if you get there sense from him, you should tell him it's not fair for him to rob you of a choice by hiding parts of the truth. [ ... ] Not that you need my advice, you're plenty skilled in getting information out of others.
Was he? It makes me happy to hear that you two can share with each other like that. I do want to know how he really feels about it all.
[ she thinks she's the one who robbed yves of a choice, more than the other way around, but she understand what claude is getting at.
he asked her once, not too long ago, if she sacrificed love and companionship for her goals. she didn't give him a direct answer then, but she thinks he's learned the answer by now.
she laughs a little. ]
What are you trying to say? [ he's not wrong, though. she's self-aware enough to know her sincerity has a tendency of inviting the same from others. ] I'll always listen to you, Claude. We don't have that much time left, so... I'll talk to him.
I'm glad you love like this.
[ even if he's not a romantic, it does show how good his heart is, at the end of the day. he cares, and he acts on how it cares. even if it's mostly focused on his ambitions, here... where he can't act on them, he shows how much he loves yves like this, and it makes elysia happy to see it, to have claude come talk to her about it. ]
[ Don't worry, he thinks she robbed Yves of a choice too. But you can both be wrong.
It's a little embarrassing for her to call him out like that, but he stands his ground, shrugging lightly. ]
Well, someone made me decide to give love a chance.
[ He says it jokingly, a crutch to overcome his shyness around how honest the response is. Maybe, later, he'll regret having shown how obviously he cares, but for now that's not important. ]
Anyway, I don't actually hate you. So if you can find some extra happiness, that's not a bad bonus.
[ what he says does make her happy. there is a bubble of warmth in her chest like gentle twinkling stars. he may be joking as a front, but she can sense the sincerity. ]
I'm glad, despite everything, to have met and known you. And it may not have been in the way you wanted, but I do care about you. In no reality would there be a version of me that wouldn't.
[ she loves him, as true as anything else she feels. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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thinks of natyuul's kittens... babies...
He still looks vaguely guilty, but shifts his focus to her. ]
Why not?
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her smile is sad when she sees his guilt, and it fades when she answers his question. ]
Because I can't promise him the future he deserves. [ ... ] How... was he, when he told you?
[ how much did I... ]
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You really do like to make decisions for other people, don't you?
[ Did you let him decide what he deserves for himself? ]
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That's one of the things I wish would change about him. [ how much of it is hiding his hurt, how much of it is actually not being able to feel the hurt anymore. ] He told me, after this, he wants to live somewhere new with Adolphe. I want that for him, too.
I have to go back home, and that's not somewhere where either of them should go, even if they wanted to.
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Because of the conflict and how badly you're hated? [ She did make herself the villain. ] So you really don't think love conquers all, hm?
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I thought you didn't have dreams of fairy tales, Claude. It's funny, kind of, because mine could sound like one.
I do think love is powerful. It is beautiful and radiant, and it can empower so much.
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If you believe in it so much, why don't you think it's worth bringing him with you?
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[ she knows she's circling the issue, but it's not something that's easy for her to admit. she can only hope to guide him to an approximate answer. ]
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Not what I expected Miss Ego to say, I admit...
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[ she wants to have something playful to say, but all she can think is, i might love him more than myself. ]
It's not like I made any of these decisions lightly...
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His gaze drops. ]
I see. [ ... ] I suppose this is mostly to assuage my own guilt.
And I'm just surprised that love's two biggest fans couldn't make it work.
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[ but that's also part of the issue. what claude says makes her laugh a little, but it lacks much mirth. ]
Yeah, isn't it funny? [ it's heartbreaking. love is so important to the both of them, and yet— ] But I do understand your point. I don't know if anything will change, but... you're probably right. I don't know if I let him say his piece. He... accepted it quickly enough.
[ ... ]
I don't know if he will tell me what he really wants if I ask because he probably won't want to make me sad.
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I don't know. He was pretty honest about it with me, though it took a bit of time.
[ He's not a romantic, but still, he just... Wants it to work. He thinks that people should be able to fill their lives with what they love.
For him, it's his dreams and ambitions, the future he wants to build and the lives he wants to better. He knows there's more to her than just her love for people, but it doesn't sit right with him to let a personal love be something sacrificed. ]
But if you get there sense from him, you should tell him it's not fair for him to rob you of a choice by hiding parts of the truth. [ ... ] Not that you need my advice, you're plenty skilled in getting information out of others.
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[ she thinks she's the one who robbed yves of a choice, more than the other way around, but she understand what claude is getting at.
he asked her once, not too long ago, if she sacrificed love and companionship for her goals. she didn't give him a direct answer then, but she thinks he's learned the answer by now.
she laughs a little. ]
What are you trying to say? [ he's not wrong, though. she's self-aware enough to know her sincerity has a tendency of inviting the same from others. ] I'll always listen to you, Claude. We don't have that much time left, so... I'll talk to him.
I'm glad you love like this.
[ even if he's not a romantic, it does show how good his heart is, at the end of the day. he cares, and he acts on how it cares. even if it's mostly focused on his ambitions, here... where he can't act on them, he shows how much he loves yves like this, and it makes elysia happy to see it, to have claude come talk to her about it. ]
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It's a little embarrassing for her to call him out like that, but he stands his ground, shrugging lightly. ]
Well, someone made me decide to give love a chance.
[ He says it jokingly, a crutch to overcome his shyness around how honest the response is. Maybe, later, he'll regret having shown how obviously he cares, but for now that's not important. ]
Anyway, I don't actually hate you. So if you can find some extra happiness, that's not a bad bonus.
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[ what he says does make her happy. there is a bubble of warmth in her chest like gentle twinkling stars. he may be joking as a front, but she can sense the sincerity. ]
I'm glad, despite everything, to have met and known you. And it may not have been in the way you wanted, but I do care about you. In no reality would there be a version of me that wouldn't.
[ she loves him, as true as anything else she feels. ]
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I know. And I know what affection can look like when you have that much power.
[ ... ]
I'm glad to have met you too. I'm still grateful for the advice you gave me on leadership, and I won't forget it anytime soon.