[ ah. she knows that struggle, has seen it up close.
therapy is her advice, but what she says and still means instead is: ]
I put myself as second-in-command for a reason, but I know not everyone has that choice. I told the person who I put in charge that he should remember. He should remember every moment of weakness he had, every hesitation. Remember how you hurt people and why. That's how you remind yourself what you're fighting for.
That's good advice. [ The weight of all the lives lost by his decisions is heavy. The indecision over his choices is constant. ] ... I guess I'm just afraid.
Of who I might become in the pursuit of what I think is right. I've seen it happen too often.
You do like to evade anything too personal. If you let more people be genuine to you and return it.... you might be a little happier.
[ anyway, the mirror's reflection shifts....
Elysia is alone in a room with someone, and it seems that someone has something to say.
"But Elysia, I just checked your body fat level and it's higher than the last time, so..."
This is a bit of sensitive topic for Elysia, who insists she can no longer gain weight for one reason or another. She can't help but protest. "Alright, alright... why do you have to check this? MEI didn't leave you here for that. What matters is how you feel rather than the number. You get it?"
Elysia receives no response, but that doesn't deter her because she understands it's because the other girl is an AI who still has room to learn.
"Fine, it might be hard for you. But one day you'll understand, Prometheus."
"Understand what?"
"Understand why people laugh and why they cry..."
"If you wish to look into the root cause of human emotions, I can help with that."
"Don't bother, I just came to talk to you." Of course, Elysia's usual sentiments don't land here, and she has to switch gears. It's not that it was unexpected, but there's something that's eating away at her, with only her and Prometheus here. She can't help but say, "Everyone is at MEI's meeting, and I'm left alone here."
Admitting it is both easy and difficult at the same time.
"You're experiencing emotional spikes, Elysia."
"Hey, didn't MEI tell you not to read someone else's biometrics without permission? I'm blushing now." It's her usual deflection, her usual playful jokes, but still, her sincerity comes through.
"But emotional spikes...? Maybe a little bit. Suspected by good friends and being distanced... anyone would be upset, right?" Elysia can't help but think about what the future holds, what the past meant, what her current present will amount to. Have all her years getting to know people and loving them.... What is it she wants?
"Actually, I just want someone to talk to."
Once again, Prometheus doesn't say anything in response.
"Ah, I never thought I'd be hopelessly watching the chasm grow one day. Prometheus, you know it better than me, right? We can't afford another civil war right now. No matter the reason, no matter how it goes, there can only be one outcome."
This time, there is a logical answer for Prometheus to give. "Humanity's self-destruction."
"Ah, right. But people of our age have been fighting Honkai for too long... they deserve a better ending, right?"
There is no response to this rhetorical question.
"Prometheus, in your eyes and from a probability standpoint, how can humanity be united again?"
It takes a moment before Elysia gets a response. "The emergence of a more terrible enemy than Herrschers, or a more severe threat."
"Ah, great minds think alike. We're thinking the same thing, Prometheus. An enemy that can force the survivors to set aside their differences and unite together... this is indeed the most effective way." There's a pause before Elysia adds, "But also the hardest. No one can tell for sure if it brings unity or speedier extinction for humanity."
Prometheus doesn't answer, leaving Elysia to continue.
"Ah, I'd hate to see the world plunge into hell again, but it really comes to that..." She takes out a pink crystal flower and twists it between her fingers, a thought and plan blooming in her mind. "It's not bad for the leading actress to play a charming villain for a change. ♪"
This really isn't what he was expecting, and even in this memory he can't get a perfect read on her emotions, watching her as it begins to loop again from the beginning. ]
I thought about it for a long time. I'm not a leader or a king or anything like that, but if I could do something to get an outcome I wanted, there's not much I wouldn't do.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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I did. And as promised, she didn't hide how my decisions made her feel.
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Did you hide how you felt about your decisions? Did you regret any of them?
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I don't regret them. I'm doing what I can to get us to the other side of this war in the most favourable position.
... But it's complicated. And it's not possible to keep people from getting hurt, and that I do regret,I guess.
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Victory in war hardly ever comes without a price. It only becomes a matter of how willing anyone is to pay it.
What kind of position are you in, Claude? She seemed to indicate you were some kind of leader.
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I'm the king.
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[ she claps her hands together. ]
King Claude. [ she tilts her head, as if testing out how that sounds. ] I think I'll keep calling you Claude, okay?
[ a beat. ]
is the crown heavy?
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[ SO CRINGE ]
... It is. I find it's extremely hard to be a good king and a good man at the same time. And being a good king isn't even easy on its own.
You must've seen the rise and fall of plenty of leaders in your lifetime, right?
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[ her smile stays in place even as she answers, softly: ]
Too many.
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[ That much he knows, but he's watching her thoughtfully, rather than beating himself up over his circumstances. ]
But if you have any advice for me...
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therapy is her advice, but what she says and still means instead is: ]
I put myself as second-in-command for a reason, but I know not everyone has that choice. I told the person who I put in charge that he should remember. He should remember every moment of weakness he had, every hesitation. Remember how you hurt people and why. That's how you remind yourself what you're fighting for.
... Or at least that's how it is for me.
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That's good advice. [ The weight of all the lives lost by his decisions is heavy. The indecision over his choices is constant. ] ... I guess I'm just afraid.
Of who I might become in the pursuit of what I think is right. I've seen it happen too often.
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It's okay to be afraid, as long you don't lose yourself to it. And isn't that why you have her?
[ hilda, she means. ]
You have friends who can help you steer away from becoming someone you regret.
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... I don't know. Maybe they'd just abandon me and have me killed instead.
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[ she holds out a hand to him. please take it. ]
Why would you think that way? It was obvious to me Hilda cared about you.
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I suppose it's what I'm used to. I can't yet shake that distrust.
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How do people usually treat you if you can't trust it? Kingship is never meant to be easy, but usually, it's offered respect and authority.
[ why is betrayal the first thing he thought of? ]
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That makes him laugh. ]
Usually with distrust and suspicion. I don't make it easy to trust me, so I can't blame them.
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[ anyway, the mirror's reflection shifts....
"But Elysia, I just checked your body fat level and it's higher than the last time, so..."
This is a bit of sensitive topic for Elysia, who insists she can no longer gain weight for one reason or another. She can't help but protest. "Alright, alright... why do you have to check this? MEI didn't leave you here for that. What matters is how you feel rather than the number. You get it?"
Elysia receives no response, but that doesn't deter her because she understands it's because the other girl is an AI who still has room to learn.
"Fine, it might be hard for you. But one day you'll understand, Prometheus."
"Understand what?"
"Understand why people laugh and why they cry..."
"If you wish to look into the root cause of human emotions, I can help with that."
"Don't bother, I just came to talk to you." Of course, Elysia's usual sentiments don't land here, and she has to switch gears. It's not that it was unexpected, but there's something that's eating away at her, with only her and Prometheus here. She can't help but say, "Everyone is at MEI's meeting, and I'm left alone here."
Admitting it is both easy and difficult at the same time.
"You're experiencing emotional spikes, Elysia."
"Hey, didn't MEI tell you not to read someone else's biometrics without permission? I'm blushing now." It's her usual deflection, her usual playful jokes, but still, her sincerity comes through.
"But emotional spikes...? Maybe a little bit. Suspected by good friends and being distanced... anyone would be upset, right?" Elysia can't help but think about what the future holds, what the past meant, what her current present will amount to. Have all her years getting to know people and loving them.... What is it she wants?
"Actually, I just want someone to talk to."
Once again, Prometheus doesn't say anything in response.
"Ah, I never thought I'd be hopelessly watching the chasm grow one day. Prometheus, you know it better than me, right? We can't afford another civil war right now. No matter the reason, no matter how it goes, there can only be one outcome."
This time, there is a logical answer for Prometheus to give. "Humanity's self-destruction."
"Ah, right. But people of our age have been fighting Honkai for too long... they deserve a better ending, right?"
There is no response to this rhetorical question.
"Prometheus, in your eyes and from a probability standpoint, how can humanity be united again?"
It takes a moment before Elysia gets a response. "The emergence of a more terrible enemy than Herrschers, or a more severe threat."
"Ah, great minds think alike. We're thinking the same thing, Prometheus. An enemy that can force the survivors to set aside their differences and unite together... this is indeed the most effective way." There's a pause before Elysia adds, "But also the hardest. No one can tell for sure if it brings unity or speedier extinction for humanity."
Prometheus doesn't answer, leaving Elysia to continue.
"Ah, I'd hate to see the world plunge into hell again, but it really comes to that..." She takes out a pink crystal flower and twists it between her fingers, a thought and plan blooming in her mind. "It's not bad for the leading actress to play a charming villain for a change. ♪"
speaking of distrust and suspicion. ]
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This really isn't what he was expecting, and even in this memory he can't get a perfect read on her emotions, watching her as it begins to loop again from the beginning. ]
That's surprisingly calculating of you, Elysia.
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I thought about it for a long time. I'm not a leader or a king or anything like that, but if I could do something to get an outcome I wanted, there's not much I wouldn't do.
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Not a bad quality in and of itself. Is that the path you ended up choosing?
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Yeah. Once I make a decision, I try not to go back on it. It got me at least one result I was hoping for.