florescences | shadowheart catchall

[ talking about it is fine. going through with it is less fine, is what elysia has learned. ]

I'm not sure if made up is the right way to label it. [ but that's less important than what shadowheart says, and elysia lights up at the news. even if she doesn't know who it is. ]

That's fantastic, Shadowheart! That's the kind of thing you want to do, isn't it? Heal and help people.

[if she’s threaded with jiaoqiu she probably knows what this is about.]

I hadn’t really thought about it. I’ve already had a knack for the magic, but I only cared about using it to serve Lady Shar.

[so healing Sharran warriors, whether or not she liked them.]

[ that was her guess, but she didn't want to be presumptuous or get her hopes up. ]

But now you have more of a choice about who to use it on, right? Here, at least. Does it feel better using it on people here than for Shar?

It always has.

[at least before coming here, she had a couple weeks being a party healer for people she actually liked.]

But I hadn't taken the time to think about it, or miss it, I suppose. It was something I could do, but soothing others' pain is antithetical to what Sharrans believe. Instead it was just another way to support her warriors in battle.

It did sound like a dreary kind of business, all you had to do to uphold Sharran beliefs.

[ even if shadowheart said she was usually halfhearted about following those beliefs back when she tried at all. ]

But you wrote to me in your letters that you were choosing to be antithetical anyway, right? Now, it's your way to support whoever you want.

[she was a very half-hearted sharran, yeah. but there's a huge gulf between that and not being a sharran, considering shar's vindictiveness to perceived traitors.]

I don't want to jump in to supporting some other god's beliefs, either, but as a cleric, my magic really does only exist if the god or goddess I follow chooses to grant it to me. On the other hand, it has appeared here, so maybe I will still have it at home, too.

[well there are lore reasons why her magic doesn't just come from shar but she doesn't know about that.]

Maybe Selûne felt I was owed that much.

That does complicate things... although I don't think your worth comes from your magic as a cleric. I just thought it'd be nice if your magic could be an extension of your choices.

[ every day, elysia finds new problems with religion, but she doesn't think it's wrong to have that kind of faith. what shadowheart says next catches more of her interest. ]

Owed? In what way?

[she would just be a cleric of elysia at this point if she could. it seems to work better.]

I saved her daughter's life. She was trapped by the Sharrans for a century, and I freed her.

[ elysia would think that's so sweet, but it might not work out better

Elysia nods, thoughtful. ]

The one from your memory? Nightsong? If you are granted favors for your choice, I'd take advantage of it.

You mentioned in your letters, that Shar may always have her mark on you... Is that literal?

Yes. Though her name is Aylin. Nightsong is what the ones who captured her named her. I do intend to ensure I am repaid, but I don't know how far the goddess' generosity goes.

[but showing her hand, which has a small circular wound on it. it never quite heals.]

Literal and metaphorical both, really.

[ elysia reaches out for shadowheart's hand, as if asking for permission to hold her hand look at it closer. ]

Can Selûne remove it? If you had to test her generosity, I think I'd ask for that. Although... that's only if you are planning to return back to your world? Are you?

I am going to return.

[yes, she will let her hold the hand and look at it. it's a basic, round, simple wound, but there is an ugly magic to it, for anyone with the ability to see these things. i don't know what elysia sees.

she gives a little smile, but a little sad about that, too. there are many people she will hate to have to leave behind, no matter where she goes.]

So I'll see how generous she feels. What about you? Still going back?

[ elysia is special in a lot of ways, but sensing magic is not one of them. even after she inspects the wound, elysia keeps holding onto shadowheart's hand.

there is always a lingering bittersweet feeling when it comes to thinking of goodbyes. leaving people behind has always been one of the most difficult decisions elysia has had to make. ]

Yeah, I'm in the same boat as you. I'm still returning and finishing what I left undone. I hope you go home to greatest generosity. [ ... ] Hey, Shadowheart, before we have to part ways at the end of this week, there's something I don't want to leave unsaid.

I love you.

[well, she quickly becomes overwhelmed by feeling at that. blinking back emotion, a complicated mixture of gratitude and also a general sense of uncertainty. even after all of this time, it's still so hard to accept others' feelings for her. at least she knows that maybe it's not that she's inherently unworthy of it so much as she was made to feel that way, but it doesn't make it easier to accept. elysia's warmth and kindness always draws her in, but then she's so easily frightened by the sincerity of her feelings.]

I don't know why you have always kept reaching for me. [it seems something very innate to who elysia is, but it is just admittedly hard to understand.] But you genuinely changed my life.

[ her love is true and pure, as soft as the petals she keeps ascribing to herself in obnoxious signatures but as solid and steady as a rock. she doesn't know where shadowheart's uncertainty stems from, but her feelings won't waver in front of it. she only wants her feelings to be known, and that's all.

she hopes they can be accepted, but she can't force it. she can only try again and again. ]

How couldn't I? Shadowheart, you make it so easy for me to reach out to you, to respond to you. I don't think you understand the extent of how much you've affected me, too.

If I have changed things for you in a way you like, I'd be so happy.

[that eases the hesitation a little. she isn't sure exactly how she has affected elysia, she really doesn't understand, but she'd like to think their relationship mattered both ways.]

Well, you didn't let me be a coward about it, so I suppose I ought to resent that. [just lightly, but a smile despite herself.] Of course it was in a way I like. You... made me believe in the future. [or at least, that there could be a future with good things in it.] If you're still who you are after all of these years, then it couldn't be impossible.

If I've affected you too, then I could not be more happy.

[ warmth blooms in her chest. that's sincerely one of the best things anyone could ever say to elysia. all she has wanted is for people to want a future, to believe in one, to have one.

her smile lights up her entire face, and she can't help but hug shadowheart again and press a kiss to her cheek. ]

It'd be a disservice to let you be a coward about this. I'd say I'm a little stubborn about changing. [ she's too confident about who she is, at her core. ] But I like to think it'd be boring if how much we care couldn't affect each other somehow.

You know, you were one of the first people here to notice some things about me. Of course that makes you special to me.

[she hugs her back tightly, letting herself feel the warmth of that reception. letting it wash over her, accepting it, returning it.]

Of course I love you, too. [said with a bit of a laugh, like she suddenly realized she didn't return the sentiment.] It feels so obvious I almost didn't think to remark on it. [elysia is simply the most lovable person ever.] But that's a foolish way of thinking. Everyone wants to know that they matter.

shadowheart catchall

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject