[ she's also been keeping her emotions light, everything as light as can be, because as much as she is also used to goodbyes, they're one of the things that make her crack the most. she has made her peace, but she won't place her hopes in seeing heaven again.
she presses herself closer to him, and her fingers clutch onto the back of his shirt for a brief moment before she relaxes them. ]
I know I'm unfair, but you're also being a little unfair. You're the person I want to smile most for.
[ said so easily, even as he holds her close. if he notices the way that her fingers cling on for a moment, he doesn't bring attention to it. he knows how she must want to be strong, and how hard it already is. ]
But I'm afraid that I have to be unfair. I'll say whatever it takes to make you understand how much I love you, and how hard it feels to let you go. I don't want you to question for even a second how much you're breaking my heart—if only because that's how much I cherish you.
[ even if he knows he has to say goodbye, and he's already told her as much. he's still such a selfish and greedy person, and this is one of the hardest things he's ever had to do. ]
[ she's silent for a long moment, as she sorts through some of her thoughts. it's never been a question of emotion. ]
If there is one thing I could never question about you, it's your love.
[ it is easier for her to say goodbye today because yves has adolphe, and even for how grateful she is that there is that love there, she's not without her own selfishness and greed.
she pulls back from him a little, and she puts her hand over his mouth before kissing the back of her hand. ]
Sorry.
[ although it's hard to say what she's sorry for. ]
[ he lets this happen, and he doesn't pull away from her or let her go too far. his arms remain around her waist, ever greedy, even though he also doesn't flinch away from the kiss that she gives him. the most that they can manage, given their circumstances.
there is truly just that traitorous beat of longing.
his expression softens.
and so he'll lean back only enough to press a kiss to the center of her palm, as if that will be enough to let them touch. ]
[ she closes her eyes for a second, and after a beat, she drops her hand, her fingers curling as if she could hold onto that last feeling. she smiles, as much love reflected in her eyes as her emotions radiate.
how much she loves him despite everything. ]
I don't think you should. [ just like how she told him he shouldn't fall in love with her, an almost futile statement, for how much she cherishes his love. ]
But I'll take it from you because I'd take anything from you.
there is still that whisper of a feeling, that part of him that would betray the whole world for love. adolphe is the anchor that keeps him in place from careening off the cliff edge after her, unafraid of the ending as long as he can hold onto her hand. he knows that this is what she wants, and a long life with adolphe is what he wants too—
he just doesn't know how to let go of love. ]
What can I give you, Ellie? [ softly wondering ] Is there anything left I can grant for the most beautiful and loveliest girl in the world?
[ if she were truly, truly honest, she wouldn't hate it if yves would follow her to the end, and that's what she thinks is one of the most dangerous things about herself, in how she would accept that kind of insanity born out of love. it's only her greater love for everyone she reaches out to and reaches back that reminds her of what she wants to protect and fight for.
it has only ever been love. ]
Is there? When every moment with you is already paradise? It would only make letting go that much harder.
[ . . . he really would still give her more. it's difficult, when it feels like there is still so much left to want. a life together. a happy ending. a chance to be in love for more than just a few hours, and to get to act like it.
in the end, this is what they decided on, though. to have even received one beautiful night with her feels like a dream. ]
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she presses herself closer to him, and her fingers clutch onto the back of his shirt for a brief moment before she relaxes them. ]
I know I'm unfair, but you're also being a little unfair. You're the person I want to smile most for.
no subject
[ said so easily, even as he holds her close. if he notices the way that her fingers cling on for a moment, he doesn't bring attention to it. he knows how she must want to be strong, and how hard it already is. ]
But I'm afraid that I have to be unfair. I'll say whatever it takes to make you understand how much I love you, and how hard it feels to let you go. I don't want you to question for even a second how much you're breaking my heart—if only because that's how much I cherish you.
[ even if he knows he has to say goodbye, and he's already told her as much. he's still such a selfish and greedy person, and this is one of the hardest things he's ever had to do. ]
no subject
If there is one thing I could never question about you, it's your love.
[ it is easier for her to say goodbye today because yves has adolphe, and even for how grateful she is that there is that love there, she's not without her own selfishness and greed.
she pulls back from him a little, and she puts her hand over his mouth before kissing the back of her hand. ]
Sorry.
[ although it's hard to say what she's sorry for. ]
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there is truly just that traitorous beat of longing.
his expression softens.
and so he'll lean back only enough to press a kiss to the center of her palm, as if that will be enough to let them touch. ]
I forgive you.
I'll forgive you for anything.
no subject
how much she loves him despite everything. ]
I don't think you should. [ just like how she told him he shouldn't fall in love with her, an almost futile statement, for how much she cherishes his love. ]
But I'll take it from you because I'd take anything from you.
[ it's her own greediness. ]
no subject
there is still that whisper of a feeling, that part of him that would betray the whole world for love. adolphe is the anchor that keeps him in place from careening off the cliff edge after her, unafraid of the ending as long as he can hold onto her hand. he knows that this is what she wants, and a long life with adolphe is what he wants too—
he just doesn't know how to let go of love. ]
What can I give you, Ellie? [ softly wondering ] Is there anything left I can grant for the most beautiful and loveliest girl in the world?
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it has only ever been love. ]
Is there? When every moment with you is already paradise? It would only make letting go that much harder.
You've already given me more than enough.
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in the end, this is what they decided on, though. to have even received one beautiful night with her feels like a dream. ]
... I wanted to ask, to be sure.
I don't want to say goodbye with any regrets.