[ she could point out it makes him a serial killer, but perhaps today is not the time for that conversation. another day would probably be better when they both haven't witnessed 10 other memories from dozens of other people. we make them memshare when they're in love. ]
Does worry happen because it's necessary?
[ it's because she cares, stupid. (she doesn't think stupid.)
she's silent for a moment, deliberating. ]
All right. I will, unless you give me reason not to.
[ like if he becomes a murderer for some reason because it happens every week. ]
[NOT MORE MEMSHARES WHILE THEY'RE IN LOVE FUCKING HELP it'd be funny. But this is fine. They're doing a lot on this Monday. There is so much to process.]
Worry doesn't abide by logic. I do know that well.
[He worries all the time when he shouldn't... But he just smiles at that, seemingly pleased with the acquiescence. He is back to his usual faint sort of pleasant demeanor.]
But they do know that... Lucas is not thinking of the influenced murders right now, though. He's just feeling at peace once again, glad that Elysia is understanding, even if she doesn't understand in full. don't forget to give me my memory back hits you with a brick]
elysia has always known she was different for as long as she could remember, but she didn't know how. it's only been recently that's starting to figure it out, starting to place what it is that makes her different. the problem is that all her friends are figuring it out at the same time.
the mirrors reflect elysia, waiting by herself or with a robotic and AI companion, as she is left behind.
the problem is that they're figuring it out by having meetings without her to talk about her, and she doesn't like being distanced that way. she doesn't want all her memories, all her bonds, or her existence to be a lie, but she is coming to terms with it.
she has to, with what her world has come to. when humanity is dying and civilization is reaching its extinction, she has to. after she has a long conversation with one of her dearest friends, eden, she thinks for a long, long time.
elysia is a herrscher. to everyone in her era, herrschers are humans turned into vessels for the honkai. they are humans that may no longer be considered humans and no longer retain any humanity left in them, and they have just destroyed the last three major cities of her world. herrschers can't help but be humanity's enemy, and humanity in elysia's era can only see them as an enemy. if this is all true, why is she the way she is?
and why is thinking of what can she do to give hope for a future?
she can put on makeup for the first and last time in her life. as she sits in front of her mirror in her bedroom, she talks to herself, as it to confirm what she's doing is what she wants and what is right for her.
she will hold a banquet and invite all her friends.
it will be a banquet for the thirteenth herrscher.
(it will be a crusade against the thirteenth herrscher.)
[GOD THERE ARE SO MANY HUMAN-SHAPED PEOPLE HERE WHO ARE AND AREN'T TRULY HUMAN.
That part isn't exactly surprising, at least. He'd expected it, roughly, considering her absolutely insane age. Humans can't live that long. Even if Relivers could in theory, he'd be shocked if any did; it's hard to even picture, given their absolute oldest still haven't even rounded out a full century.
But to think of Elysia as being grouped in with creatures that retain no humanity, born from humans and twisted into things that only cause destruction... He can't see it in the least. She is different, but she isn't, all the same. Just a step to the left of the humanity she was willing to become a villain for.
As the memory begins to roll to a close and slide into its loop, Lucas just stares at the reflective surfaces around them for a few quiet seconds before turning to face Elysia.]
...May I ask what happened to you...?
[It's a quiet question, but he wants to know. Was this the point at which she ended, or just one mark in a long story? Did her friends get to see her again? What came of the banquet and its true intended purpose? His hands fold together, the gesture just a little anxious.]
[A whole 50,000 some years... It does sound confusing, though - and then there's just the slightest itch in the back of his mind. The real Elysia. If that's the real Elysia, then who is this person with the same name, face, temperament, memories, feelings?
[Hm... A copy! A simulation. Well... It's a little closer to something else he's come to know of here, rather than Relivers, but it's still enough to make that itch a little worse for now.]
[ she is reliver adjacent. (you: elysia is too healthy for him. me: ok)
it's primarily because the mirrors could reflect it that she doesn't try to deflect. ]
The Herrscher of Corruption had entered the Elysian Realm. That's the memory realm I live in. [ lived. ] I couldn't let her leave the realm to corrupt the real world, so I went to face her and ended up here in the process.
[HELP MEEEEE YOU JUST THERE LIKE ARE U SURE ABOUT THAT. It's fine it's fine...
He just listens to that, though. This is like some horrific combination between Reliver tech and the technology he's heard about in someone else's world and it really does rub up against his conditioning horribly. His arms cross over his middle, the gesture a bit self-protective by look, but he's mostly just trying to keep himself grounded in a small way.]
...Were you able to keep her from leaving?
[Quietly. Even mentally agitated, he hates the idea of her having sacrificed her life for nothing.]
Ah... [Crossing his arms over his middle again so he's mirroring her mirroring him.] No, I was only thinking. It just sounds like such a complicated, difficult situation.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Does worry happen because it's necessary?
[ it's because she cares, stupid. (she doesn't think stupid.)
she's silent for a moment, deliberating. ]
All right. I will, unless you give me reason not to.
[ like if he becomes a murderer for some reason because it happens every week. ]
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Worry doesn't abide by logic. I do know that well.
[He worries all the time when he shouldn't... But he just smiles at that, seemingly pleased with the acquiescence. He is back to his usual faint sort of pleasant demeanor.]
I won't give you any reason to.
[Unless he's the murderer for some reason!]
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I hope you won't.
[ but they both know that murderers do be influenced, and even without his divine retribution background, he could still be pushed into it.
i will give you a memory back tomorrow. ]
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But they do know that... Lucas is not thinking of the influenced murders right now, though. He's just feeling at peace once again, glad that Elysia is understanding, even if she doesn't understand in full. don't forget to give me my memory back hits you with a brick]
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the images in the mirror warp.
the mirrors reflect elysia, waiting by herself or with a robotic and AI companion, as she is left behind.
the problem is that they're figuring it out by having meetings without her to talk about her, and she doesn't like being distanced that way. she doesn't want all her memories, all her bonds, or her existence to be a lie, but she is coming to terms with it.
she has to, with what her world has come to. when humanity is dying and civilization is reaching its extinction, she has to. after she has a long conversation with one of her dearest friends, eden, she thinks for a long, long time.
elysia is a herrscher. to everyone in her era, herrschers are humans turned into vessels for the honkai. they are humans that may no longer be considered humans and no longer retain any humanity left in them, and they have just destroyed the last three major cities of her world. herrschers can't help but be humanity's enemy, and humanity in elysia's era can only see them as an enemy. if this is all true, why is she the way she is?
and why is thinking of what can she do to give hope for a future?
she thinks and thinks, and she decides. (55:00 to 59:33)
she can put on makeup for the first and last time in her life. as she sits in front of her mirror in her bedroom, she talks to herself, as it to confirm what she's doing is what she wants and what is right for her.
she will hold a banquet and invite all her friends.
it will be a banquet for the thirteenth herrscher.
(it will be a crusade against the thirteenth herrscher.)
she made herself into a villain. ]
no subject
That part isn't exactly surprising, at least. He'd expected it, roughly, considering her absolutely insane age. Humans can't live that long. Even if Relivers could in theory, he'd be shocked if any did; it's hard to even picture, given their absolute oldest still haven't even rounded out a full century.
But to think of Elysia as being grouped in with creatures that retain no humanity, born from humans and twisted into things that only cause destruction... He can't see it in the least. She is different, but she isn't, all the same. Just a step to the left of the humanity she was willing to become a villain for.
As the memory begins to roll to a close and slide into its loop, Lucas just stares at the reflective surfaces around them for a few quiet seconds before turning to face Elysia.]
...May I ask what happened to you...?
[It's a quiet question, but he wants to know. Was this the point at which she ended, or just one mark in a long story? Did her friends get to see her again? What came of the banquet and its true intended purpose? His hands fold together, the gesture just a little anxious.]
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I met my end, and I tried to give hope to a new world.... although I didn't know if I succeeded until very recently before coming here.
[ a whole 50,000 some years. but she knows what she says sounds confusing. ]
The real Elysia met her end back then, fifty thousand years ago.
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Insofar as he has known her, at least.]
...Then... who are you, if not the real Elysia?
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More of a simulation, or a copy, but I am Elysia.
[ she doesn't have identity issues, but she does make a distinction. ]
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How... did you come to be?
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Through memories, and a combination of technology and psychic abilities. I'm more of a record and a guide, more than anything else.
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He has a lot of thoughts about this but he doesn't voice any of them. Instead:]
How is it that your life came to an end, then...?
[If she's just a record or a guide kept-- somewhere, presumably. All records are kept somewhere.]
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In a way, I don't know. I only have what my friends have said. Our memories are only current to when we come to update them, and...
[ well, when you die, you can't really do that. ]
I can tell you how I died to get here, though.
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...If you don't mind, I would like to know.
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it's primarily because the mirrors could reflect it that she doesn't try to deflect. ]
The Herrscher of Corruption had entered the Elysian Realm. That's the memory realm I live in. [ lived. ] I couldn't let her leave the realm to corrupt the real world, so I went to face her and ended up here in the process.
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He just listens to that, though. This is like some horrific combination between Reliver tech and the technology he's heard about in someone else's world and it really does rub up against his conditioning horribly. His arms cross over his middle, the gesture a bit self-protective by look, but he's mostly just trying to keep himself grounded in a small way.]
...Were you able to keep her from leaving?
[Quietly. Even mentally agitated, he hates the idea of her having sacrificed her life for nothing.]
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[ she hasn't accomplished it yet. yet is the operative term because she's confident she'll be returned.
or that with time, she can. she watches his arms, unsure what's causing this reaction but noting it. ]
But even if I can't, there are others outside who will be able to. I don't want it to come to that, though.
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[Considering she'd been trying to keep it from spilling outside in the first place.]
Then you intend to return once the trials are over so that you can defeat her? Will you be able to avoid your death...?
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[ she flashes a victory sign. she continues to have the confidence. ]
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His arms drop away from his middle again at that, perhaps looking like whatever momentary discomfort has passed.]
Then I'll pray for a swift success, and as little loss of life as possible.
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[ ... ]
Lucas, was there something I said that made you uncomfortable?
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What do you mean?
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That.
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she's known him long enough that she thinks that's not true. ]
That might be part of it. I don't think that's all of it.
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